Finding Clarity
by FallingInLoveInDecember
Summary: Entry for Naughty or Nice contest 2017. After spending her entire life in foster care and on the streets, spending the holiday season with the Cullens has given Bella an entirely new outlook on life, on forgiving, and on being the best you that you can be.


Thank you for your encouragement Fran! I would have given up if it hadn't been for you cheering me on.

* * *

"It's okay, baby." Bella hummed, doing her best to keep her teeth from chattering as she shivered in the frigid air.

Bella looked out the window as big fat snowflakes descended slowly illuminated by the bright moon and stars in the otherwise dark night. Wrapping another old flannel shirt around the already bundled toddler did nothing to stop her cries from the cold and hunger that plagued her. The wind blew, whistling as it seeped through the small crack where the window didn't seal properly. She had run out of gas a few miles after entering town. No houses were visible and no cars had passed to offer aid. With thirty-five dollars to her name and a broken-down car, she felt hopeless.

Looking at her two-year-old, the strawberry blond ringlets unkept as she struggled to be set free, blue eyes searching her mother's with a look of anguish. Bella handed her the last cookie, stale and crumbly, to try and keep her howls at bay. Not for the first time she wondered if she should give up, to give her daughter to the state, so she had a chance of finding a family to love her. The only thing that stopped her were the memories that plagued her from her own stint in foster care. The abuse from her foster siblings, the girls who cut her hair while she slept, stealing the few items of clothing she had, or the boy she had to run from, locking doors behind her when she showered or slept. Her foster mother ignored here complaints, telling her she was too troublesome and unwilling to get along with the other children. A week before she turned eighteen, fully prepared for the struggle of adulthood, yet ready to be away from the life she had endured for the past two years, the boy cornered her. With a swift knee between his legs, she ran as soon as his grip loosened.

With an additional shirt over her baby, she braced herself and entered the cold night. Snow seeped through the holes in the toe of her sneakers and into the edges soaking her socks. Biting her lip and giving herself another mental shove, she pressed on. A few cars passed, spewing slush, but none pulled over to offer any assistance to the young mother without a coat and her child barely visible through the layers.

Dim lights were beginning to appear ahead, growing brighter the closer she got. Wide shop windows showing off pies and cookies and pastries of all sorts.

"Num." Her daughter hummed, extending an arm, her little fist opening and closing as she stretched, trying to reach the appetizing display.

"I know you're hungry, baby." Bella said sadly, frowning as the distance closed and she could see the almost empty diner. It was late, and only a few patrons were still seated.

A bell sounded when she opened the door and she felt self-conscious as every eye was drawn to the newcomer.

"May I help you?" A waitress eyed them, taking in the ragged appearance of the heavily wrapped baby and the coatless Bella who had snot dripping from her nose that she was unable to wipe away with her arms full.

"Could we get a table in the back, please?" Bella murmured, unable to meet the eyes of the waitress.

"Sure you can." A woman came forward, glaring at the cold-faced waitress. Bella stiffened as she draped an arm around Bella's waist and led them to a booth near a window, far enough away from all the prying eyes. "My name is Alice."

"Bella." She spoke barely above a whisper, unable to make eye contact. "I don't mean to cause any trouble, my baby is hungry, and as soon as she eats, we'll be on our way." Unable to make eye contact.

"What's your name, darling?" Alice cooed as Bella slowly unwrapped her daughter.

"Me." The little girl said with a cheeky grin. "Mm!" She began to demand, the sound she made when she wanted to be fed.

"Just a minute, Elizabeth."

Bella tried to ignore Alice's calculating gaze, focusing instead on her child.

"I'll be right back with a special treat." She finally spoke and left Bella and Elizabeth to watch after her, one wary, the other curious.

"Ma!" Elizabeth squealed loudly before a stream of hoarse coughing regaining the attention that had been previously diverted.

"That doesn't sound good." Alice commented, returning to the table with two plates and a couple containers of milk under each arm.

She set a plate baring cubed pieces of chicken, crackers, and cheese in front of Elizabeth, pushing a straw through the foil of the milk and sliding it to her before giving Bella a plastic-wrapped turkey sandwich.

"I'm not hungry." Bella stated, pushing the plate away.

"Well, that man over there," reaching an arm across her body and pointing to a sole man on a bar stool at the counter, "said to send this your way on his dime."

"What does he want in return?" Bella scowled, well-seasoned on what men expected in return for favors.

"For you to eat." Alice smiled. "That's my brother, Edward. Our mother always taught us the spirit of giving."

Looking at the man's back warily, she slowly peeled off the wrapper. Sensing Bella wanted her privacy, Alice gave an excuse and left her and the baby to their meal. Bella finally gave a bite. Mayo and cold turkey filling taste buds while Elizabeth stuffed pieces of cheddar into her mouth until her cheeks were puffed, earning a laugh from her mother.

The sound of twinkling laughter drew Edward's attention, turning in his seat to find the source. He had seen the woman and child enter the diner, the mother obviously cold and the child hungry. It angered him to see the disdain Lauren gave them instead of offering them a menu and a seat as they entered. He had never been as proud when his sister rushed to their rescue and ushered them to a table away from the few curious people watching it all unfold before them. When he looked outside he saw no car, making him guess they had walked in the bitter weather from somewhere.

"Alice," Edward reached out and gently grasped her arm when she walked by, "send her a sandwich and some finger food for the baby."

"I was already planning on it, big brother." Alice winked and pushed the swinging door open leading into the kitchen.

Edward got up from his seat and walked around the counter to refill his own coffee, grabbing a couple of cartons of milk for the girl and her child.

"Here." He pushed them on his sister when she came back out with two plates. "I'm going to make hot chocolate; her lips are blue."

Alice only grinned and gave a slight nod, unbothered by her brother taking over her diner, a gift from her late husband. In fact, she was rather surprised, though she did an excellent job of hiding it. Her brother tended to be a bit of a scrooge this time of year. He gave, yet he never put forth much effort to go out of his way.

The twinkling of bells gave way faintly, the sandalwood scent tickling her nose.

"Jasper." She sighed, her smile growing bigger, knowing there was a reason the woman and child entered her place of business. "I hear you." She whispered into the spicy scented air before it left as quickly as it came.

Edward finished putting whip cream on top of the hot drinks, watching as the mother smiled and laughed over the baby's eating habits. He never understood children unable to interact with them without it being awkward, but he found himself smiling at the little red curls bouncing from the child's inability to sit still.

He snapped the covers onto the Styrofoam to-go cups when the mother began wrapping the baby back up in the discarded blankets and shirts. He wanted to offer his own coat to her, but something told him she would be offended by the offered charity.

"I'll bring those to her." Alice took the cups and placed them in a holder and then into a plastic bag with thick handles for easier carrying.

Edward watched helplessly at the visible struggle of the mother carrying the little girl and the bag against the wind and cold. All too soon they were out of sight.

"Bella…" Alice hummed.

"What?"

"She left fifteen dollars." Alice frowned, handing the money and a napkin to Edward. He looked down at it and saw that a simple thank you and the name Bella was scribbled on it.

"Did you tell her it was on the house?" Edward scowled.

"Don't give me that look." Alice stabbed his chest playfully with a finger. "You know I did. I hope they are okay…" They both stared out the window into the dark night, the snow giving them glittering winks.

"Please stop crying." Bella pleaded, almost in tears herself.

She had walked back to the car and snuggled with Elizabeth in the backseat, using the last bit of gas to warm them 'till it sputtered and died for good. Several ratty blankets and flannel shirts were no guard against the cold, bitter air. The baby's cries gave way for another hoarse cough, making the young mother panic. She once again questioned if her decision to keep her daughter was doing more harm than good.

Light suddenly flooded the car, the sound of tires skidding over snow and ice, coming to a stop so close to them that Bella was blinded. Before her eyes had a chance to adjust, there was a rap on her window, and a tall shadow visible through the foggy glass.

"I'm sorry, I thought I was out of the road!" She called out, cradling her daughter even closer to her chest, much to the baby's displeasure.

"Bella?" A voice she didn't recognize called out.

She reached over and cranked the handle to lower the window partially, shivering as even colder air was let inside the small space.

"Who are you?" She glared.

"Edward, Alice's brother. I saw you leave the diner, is everything okay?"

"We're fine." Bella attempted over the wail of her daughter.

"What are you doing out in this weather?"

"I'm out of gas, and my spare tire went flat."

"Do you have anywhere to stay?"

Bella gave him an obvious look; why else would she be in the back of her car?

"If you come with me, I can drive you and your daughter to a nearby shelter."

She wanted to protest, but her daughter needed to get out of the cold. They would be comfortable and Bella would have time to think of her next move. She reached over and pulled up on the door lock, allowing the man named Edward to open it and help her crawl out without letting go of her daughter.

"Do you have anything you want to bring with you?" He asked, opening the door of his car for her.

"There's a bag with some clothes and diapers in the trunk."

He shut the door and jogged back to her car, fighting to open the trunk and retrieve said bag. Bella looked over the dash, trying to find the dial to turn up the heat, holding Elizabeth close to the warm vents. Edward opened the driver's side door and got in so quickly it startled her, watching him warily as he threw her bag into the backseat.

"You can turn the heat up if you want." He said, pointing to a button that must control the temperature. She kept an eye on him, but turned up the heat, buckling in both Elizabeth and herself.

"Thanks." She muttered.

"Where are you headed?" He asked after a moment of silence, the wipers squeaking against the wet glass as the snow fell steadily.

She shrugged in response.

"Where are you coming from?" He tried again.

"Around. Nowhere special."

"How old are you?" He finally asked suspiciously, noticing how young she looked now that he could see her face this closely.

"Twenty." She scowled at him.

"What are you doing out in the cold with a baby a week before Christmas?"

"None of your business!" She snapped.

He parked the car in front of a large brick building, putting his ear to the phone while glancing at Bella.

"Hey, Angela. I have a mother and child looking for a bed tonight." Bella squirmed uncomfortably. "There isn't a single spare spot to put them?" He sighed heavily. "All right, thanks."

"Just bring us back to the car, we'll be fine." Bella requested, trying to soothe her baby as she coughed again.

"She needs to see a doctor." Edward frowned, looking at the child who was watching him with big eyes framed with wet lashes.

Without requesting permission, he put the car in gear and once again started driving.

"Where are we going?"

"To my mother's."

The longer he drove, Bella noticed the more ridged his body grew. Not much longer the car came to another stop outside of a Tudor style house with a large green wreath hanging on the door. Edward reached back and grabbed her bag before running around and opening the door for her.

"Why are we here?" Bella finally asked, feeling the need to run.

Just when she was deciding in favor of bolting, she heard bells softly twinkling, looking around the sky above her for the source of the sound and the smell of sweet pine that blew past.

"What was that?" She asked Edward.

"What was what?"

Whatever it had been, he hadn't experienced it, and instead of sounding crazy, she let it go.

 _Trust him._

The wind whispered past her.

The door was flung open before Edward could knock and a short, plump woman stood in the entryway, a hand to her chest and eyes wide, taking in the sight of a ragged Bella and Elizabeth.

"My goodness, what are you doing with a baby, Edward?"

"This is Bella and Elizabeth. They were stranded in the cold, and the shelter is overfilled. The baby is sick, and I didn't know what else to do."

"Well, get in out of the cold. I was just about to make some tea, would you like some?" She asked Bella, concerned eyes focused on the baby's flushed cheeks. "Edward, put the humidifier in the spare bedroom, the pack and play is already set up from Rosalie and Emmett's visit. I know I have children's medicine and a thermometer in the medicine cabinet. I'm Esme, by the way!" She called and waved as she ran down the hall, giving them her back.

"My mother can be a bit … overwhelming." Edward stated. "Ever since the accident, she finds things to keep her busy or fuss over."

Bella didn't know what he was talking about so instead of answering she looked around. To the right was a large family room with a Christmas tree decorated with lights that flashed off and on, red and gold glass balls covered every branch.

"Oh!" Elizabeth gasped, reaching for it and kicking to be put down.

"Why don't you unbundle her?" Edward suggested, pulling out a long gate and placing it around the front of the tree. "This way she can explore without hurting herself with hooks."

"I have a warm bath started for Elizabeth. Edward, serve Bella some tea and show her to the bedroom.

"We can't stay here." Bella frowned.

"Why not?"

"I don't know you, and you don't know me. I could be a serial killer or something."

"Bella, are you a serial killer?"

"No."

"Well, neither are we."

"I'm not letting a stranger bathe my child." She moved Elizabeth away from Esme's eager arms.

"Of course, I apologize, dear. Sometimes I forget myself." Esme looked crestfallen. "Let me show you to the bathroom, and while you and Elisabeth wash up, I will make sure the bedroom is ready for you."

Bella followed Esme down a hall covered with green garland and red bows. Esme opened a door and motioned for her to enter. There was a bath with the comforting scent of baby soap in the shallow water and several towels. Esme left without a word, and Bella drained the tub, locking the door before undressing and taking a shower to cleanse both she and Elisabeth. She didn't know why these people took them in, but it did mean they were safe for the time being. She could keep Elizabeth a bit longer, and James would never think to look for them here.

"Where did you grow up?" Alice asked, sipping from a delicate china cup.

She arrived early the next day to check on Bella and Elizabeth.

Edward watched from the other side of the room, more than a little curious about this girl and her child.

"A few hours past Seattle."

"I had your car towed to a shop. Unfortunately, they said there was more wrong then just a flat tire and it would be cheaper to buy a used car than it would be to fix it."

Bella frowned, looking into the coffee that had long ago turned cold.

"You can stay here as long as you like." Esme chirped, dancing around the room with a giggling Elizabeth.

Being clean and receiving medicine, she awoke from a good night sleep in a warm room looking and sounding much better, with just a little bit of a cough lingering.

Bella agreed to go Christmas shopping with Alice, unconsciously adding up everything that was bought in her head. She thought of how much money she could get from just a few small trinkets that were strewn throughout the house. She didn't want to think like that, didn't want to steal from the very people who opened their home to her, but after several years living with James, it was in her nature to think this way. It was only the past month that she hadn't stolen. The last time had been a wallet from a man who sat at a table at an outside café. It was easy enough, distracting him with Elizabeth, while he cooed at her, Bella was able to slide the wallet off the table and into the wide opening of the diaper bag, making it look as if she simply bumped the bag into the table. They gave cheerful farewells, and she was out of sight by the time he noticed.

She only had three rules. One was never to use credit cards, it was too easy to get caught. Only cash and then she dropped the emptied wallet into a mailbox as she walked past. The second rule was never steal from a mother or father. Of course, she couldn't tell who was or wasn't, but if they had kids with them, they were off limits. The third was to poach affluent areas. The last heist made her three hundred and forty-two dollars. Enough for gas and food, a minor repair to the car, which, in hindsight, was a waste. But then again, it did break down in this town where a strange family treated her like a long-lost friend.

She met James after running away from her foster family, accepting his kindness and interest with enthusiasm. It was the first time in her life someone acted like they cared for her, wanted her around. He taught her how to pickpocket, though she made the rules on her own-he had no boundaries. They lived in one hotel room to the next, never staying still for long. It was easier to keep under the radar this way. A couple of years later she gave birth to Elizabeth, not long after James got in deeper. He went from casual cash or credit card theft to armed robbery and drugs. He beat Bella after an all-night binge, and she ran, unwilling to risk it happening again or worse-to Elizabeth. Two weeks later, her car broke down and here she was, shopping in places she used to steal from, eating at a dining room table she only saw in magazines.

Out of the three still strangers, the man was the only quiet one. His mother and sister chattered nonstop, her wandering thoughts able to drown them out. For the first time, she studied him. He was very tall; she already knew that much given by the way he towered over her. His limbs were long and lean, as were his fingers. He had a perpetual scowl on his face and only seemed to soften when he spoke or played with Elizabeth. His hair was a dark red, almost brown color, eyes a deep green.

"So, what happened to your husband?" Bella asked over the chatter of Alice and Esme.

Edward looked at her sharply, almost warningly. His mother tried to hold back a sob, failing miserably, and Alice just gave her a soft smile. She didn't like that Alice seemed to act as if she knew her, that she knew what Bella was thinking and feeling. It made her feel like a trapped animal.

"My father and husband were killed in a car accident two Christmas Eves ago." Alice said softly. "They were going out for last minute ingredients we needed for Christmas dinner and were hit head-on by a drunk driver."

"I'm sorry." She muttered, embarrassed by her tactless question.

She knew better, she was just waiting, seeing how far she could push until their true nature was exposed-no one was this nice all the time.

"Will you be here this Christmas Eve?"

"Why?" She responded to Alice's question suspiciously.

"We always hand out gifts at the local shelter and help serve Christmas dinner."

"Why?" She repeated, this family confusing her further. If all her years taught her anything, no one was this kind, unless they wanted something.

"We have been very blessed." Esme smiled, reaching out to pat Bella's hand. "I was loved by a great man for many years and he provided my children and me with a wonderful life. If we need or desire anything, we have the means to acquire, whereas, others aren't as lucky." Bella thought of all the items Alice bought today that sat under the tree and silently scoffed. "Those are most of the things we will be handing out, I just need to grab some more children's clothing to finish the last of the list given to us by the shelter."

"None of those are yours?" Bella asked, pointing disbelievingly at the full tree.

"Our gifts to one another is our time."

Edward watched Bella leave with her daughter after retrieving her from the booster seat where Edward had been giving her pieces of a sugar cookie.

"Don't start thinking like that." Alice scolded gently. "Let her tell her story before you start going down a dark path."

"We don't know where she came from-"

"Seattle." Alice smiled, interrupting him.

"Who, or what, she is running from-"

"What makes you think she's running?"

"She was in her car with a child right before Christmas."

"She doesn't have a home."

"Wouldn't she have stayed where she knows she can obtain shelter and a bed for her and her daughter rather than risk the cold, traveling where she's never been?"

"She has had a hard life, I can see that clearly enough." Esme put in her thoughts. "The baby is delightful though."

Alice cocked her head to the side, listening to the sound only she seemed to be able to hear, nodding in agreement.

This girl would be good for her brother.

"How about this one?" Bella asked, stopping beside a tree that came to chest level.

"Too short."

"There has been something wrong with the last five trees, why are we doing this again?"

"Alice needs a tree for the diner, she is particular about what she wants though."

"How did she come to owning a shop like that all by herself, anyway?"

"Her husband saved enough for a down payment, the last gift he gave her. She has done well and business stays steady."

"What do you do?"

"I'm a police officer."

Bella stopped short, staring at him with shocked eyes. Why would a cop let a stranger stay with him and his mother? A common thief, at that. This family was past strange.

"I haven't seen you in uniform." She tried to keep the conversation normal, maintaining a steady voice.

"I always take the last two weeks of December off."

She was weighing the pros and cons in her mind, the benefit of telling Edward about James, but then having to come clean about her illicit actions when he stopped walking, causing her to run into him with a solid _umph._

"What the hell, Edward?" She complained, arms flailing at her side to regain her balance.

"Elizabeth found the perfect tree!" He exclaimed.

She looked around Edward and saw Elizabeth pulling on the branches of a tree that was as tall as she, perfecting cone-shaped and full.

"Way to go, Liza!" Edward picked up the little girl and spun her in a circle before plopping her into a small snow bank. Much to the child's amusement, she rolled herself off, and giggled. She was warmly dressed in a borrowed snowsuit from one of Esme's grandchildren, whose parents were yet another sibling of Alice and Edward. Edward only said it was a good thing their eldest sister wasn't home to greet Bella, that she could scare away a Buddhist.

Bella stood back and watched as Edward patiently allowed her daughter to help with the cutting of the tree, taking much longer than was necessary, she was sure, as a mitten covered hand laid on top of his gloved one, slowly moving back and forth across the tree's trunk.

"Let's put this in the back of the car and tomorrow you can help decorate it!" He smiled at Elizabeth, dragging the tree behind him, Bella watching him with skeptical eyes.

"It's wonderful!" Alice grabbed Elizabeth's hands and jumped with her, causing the little girl to fall into a fit of giggles watching Edward set the tree into a stand and move it to the center of the room grabbed her attention.

"Oh." She sighed, walking to him so she could run her little fingers over the branches.

"Only five days till Christmas!"

"Why did you wait till now for a tree?" Bella asked.

"I always do, it gives me an excuse to leave it up during January and gives families a chance to find their perfect tree without me taking it before they get the chance."

Once more Bella thought this idea strange. Why not get first pick? Everyone pays for one, after all.

"Hey, Ed!" An officer came into the diner eyeing Bella suspiciously, and walking toward Edward and Elizabeth.

Bella watched, her nerves tingling, while the men spoke in hushed tones, the officer granting her with an odd look once or twice. Edward only raised his eyes once, revealing nothing.

"What did Jake want?" Alice asked when the office left, and Edward picked up Elizabeth to give her a banana from behind the counter.

"I haven't been in the office, and he needed to run a few things by me."

He didn't look at Bella, didn't ask her questions. She wasn't sure if she should feel relieved or not.

"Hey Bella, I have a question." Alice smiled at her and Edward went to sit at a booth with Elizabeth to color with her while she ate her snack. "I was wondering if you wanted to work for me?"

"What?" Bella looked at her with confusion.

"Well, you need a job, right?"

"Yeah…I guess."

"And I need a waitress!" Alice beamed, handing Bella an apron.

"I don't know the first thing about waitressing. I don't even have identification or a place to live-"

"Which is why you need a job." Alice placed a gentle hand on Bella's shoulder. "We will figure everything out. Edward will know how to get you identification and you will be able to start earning money for you and Elizabeth."

"I don't know how long we'll be here."

"Till then." Alice smiled. "You start tomorrow, nine to three." She walked away and entered the kitchen, leaving Bella to stare after her with wide, shocked eyes.

"Your sister is nuts." She breathed out, taking a seat beside Elizabeth in the booth. "She doesn't even know me, and she is trusting me to work here. I guess I need to find someone to watch Elizabeth, do you know how I can do that?"

"My mom would be happy to."

"I don't want to put her out, she is already letting us stay in her home."

"She doesn't mind, but I can ask my sister, Rose."

"Thanks. Any word on my car and how much it will cost to fix?"

"Not yet." Edward had a funny look flash through his eyes, quickly masking it, but not before Bella noticed. "Deal." Edward slapped a stack of cards on the table between them, smiling slightly at Bella.

Two hours later, they were still at the table with the cards. They had long ago quit trying to play with Elizabeth's help and were instead playing open faced Go Fish, showing the child how to match numbers and colors. Elizabeth started to nod off, and he offered to drive them home so she could nap.

Bella started out the window of the bedroom they were using, watching the sky darken and create shadows over the sparkling snow. She truly enjoyed her time spent with the family and was beginning to feel content after only a few days. They all doted on Elizabeth and seemed genuinely interested and caring. They didn't treat Bella for what she was...a homeless mother living off their charity. She was treated as if she was right where she belonged, not as a stranger in their home. She felt excited about the prospect of having a real job, earning honest money for the first time in her life.

So preoccupied was she with thoughts of her future, she failed to notice one more shadow added to the rest, this one of a man who was watching from a distance.

Edward was also looking out his window, thinking over what his co-worker had told him, wondering once again if he should question Bella. He knew he should, but also knew it would upset her and she would probably run. He was preoccupied, but not enough not to notice the shadowy figure as it slowly left sight. He squinted, trying to determine if it was a trick of his eyes or if someone was out there. He went down the stairs, intending to take a quick look around the yard. With his coat halfway on and walking to the front door, his mother called out.

"Edward, I was just going to tell you I baked the gingerbread today." Esme smiled.

A look at the kitchen showed him Elizabeth was in a highchair and Bella standing beside her. Both sets of eyes wide with wonderment, gazing at the counter full of frosting, colorful candies, and pieces of gingerbread houses waiting to be put together.

"I've never made a gingerbread house before." Bella admitted quietly, still looking at the counter in wonderment.

"Mom made one with us every year." Edward said, forgetting his task and taking his one arm out of the coat, dropping it unceremoniously on the back of the couch as he walked to the kitchen.

"Where's Alice?" He asked.

"She let Lauren go home early, her little boy is sick. She called and told me to go ahead, but she wanted pictures of the baby." Esme smiled, giving Elizabeth a spoon with a bit of frosting on it.

"Let's get started then." He sat on a stool beside the counter and motioned for Bella to do the same on the one beside him. "We need two of each piece for the sides and the roof." He pointed at the cookie sheets and let Bella assemble after he piped the frosting along the edge of each piece; his mother giving the baby a gingerbread man to play with more so than decorate, snapping a picture here and there.

"It's leaning so badly." Bella was bent over in a fit of giggles. Edward's hands were covered in sticky, thick frosting as he tried to straighten the house without it entirely collapsing.

"You're the one who put it together." He chuckled, drinking in the sight of a laughing Bella, something he hadn't seen since the night he first saw her in the diner. "It should be stabilized enough for decorating." He said, letting it go, only to have the roof cave in when the walls bucked outward, causing Bella to laugh even louder, bent at the waist.

"This isn't funny. We take gingerbread building very seriously in this house." Edward scolded playfully, throwing a gumdrop at her.

"Hey!"

"I'm going to wash this one up and get her settled for bed." Esme chortled happily over their antics, carrying Elizabeth from the room.

Bella lifted her hand to throw a red candy at him, only for him to have snake-like responses, grabbing her arm and stopping her.

"Red hots, my favorite." He smirked, pulling her hand toward him and leaning in to take the candy from her fingers with his lips.

Bella's stomach flipped around crazily, and her breath caught. The sound snapped Edward out of it, and he let go of her and leaned back.

"Sorry." He felt his cheeks redden, refusing to catch her eye while cleaning up the table.

"Let me help." Her knees shook, spilling candy into bags and wiping up the frosting covered counter with a warm dishrag.

"Are you tired?" Edward asked quietly after the kitchen was clean without them having spoken at all.

"Not really."

"Here." He handed her a candy cane and grabbed her hand, leading her into the living room. "Alice and I always did this after Mom and Dad went to bed on the nights we built our house." He turned off the lights, leaving only the tree lit, and laid under it, motioning for Bella to do the same beside him.

She looked around, feeling foolish, but got down on her knees, turning over to her back and laid under the tree also. The lights twinkled above them, a magical sight even to her adult eyes.

"It's so pretty." She said in awe.

"Rose is five years older than me and six years older than Alice. She was always too cool to hang out with us. Alice and I have been close since we were young-best of friends."

"Doesn't seem normal of siblings." Bella wondered more than stated.

"Who defines what normal is or isn't?" Edward asked, turning his head to look at her.

She was beautiful, her pink cheeks looking like apples as she smiled under the lights, brown eyes glowing. She acted like a child with much everything seemingly new to her. He wondered once again what it was like for her growing up, why she was in that old car with a baby?

"Did you never have a Christmas tree?" He finally asked.

"I grew up in foster care."

"My best friend's mother is a foster mom."

"Not the good kind." Bella turned and raised a knowing brow at him. "I can't remember ever feeling wanted or staying in one place for an extended amount of time."

"How long were you in the system?"

"As long as I can remember. I've never had parents, as far back as I can recall, and I never asked. Christmas presents came from my social worker, and I was lucky if it was not only something I needed, but if I was quick enough to hide it before it was stolen."

"So, you were let go two years ago?" Edward turned his head, so he was looking up into the tree again, not wanting Bella to see he felt sorry for her, he instinctively knew she wouldn't like that.

"I ran away before that happened. I tried to hold out, I've heard there are programs to help you get started, but it just didn't work out that way for me."

"Where's Elizabeth's father?"

"I should go check on her." Bella made a move to remove herself.

"Wait, I'm sorry." Edward quickly stopped her, feeling guilty for pushing. "Stay a bit longer? She's safe with my mom."

Bella settled once more, knowing he was right about Elizabeth being safe here. He enveloped her hand in his, and she allowed it, even twining her fingers with his. Against her better judgment, she felt safe too.

"Are you watching?" Alice whispered in the wind, looking through the diner's window from outside. "Do you see what I see?" She sang lowly.

Bella was working her first day and Alice watched with so much love felt for her brother as he ran behind her, showing her how to take orders and deliver them, how to fill up the sugar, salt, and pepper shakers as needed. A glow was around both of them, the light breeze leaving the feel of a kiss against Alice's cheeks as she smiled at the sight.

"Bella, you're doing great." Edward reassured a slightly flustered Bella who had just dropped a plate of tea sandwiches. "I've dropped more than I can remember when I help out Alice."

"He tells no lies." Alice offered, the bells twinkling as she entered and came straight over to help Bella and Edward pick up cut up slices of bread and cheese. "Everyone makes mistakes, so we forgive and learn." She smiled, handing Bella the tray of ruined sandwiches.

"Thanks, Alice. Edward, go visit with your sister and stop hovering." Her tone did not match her words, sounding playful, flashing warm eyes at Edward. She realized what she was doing, flashing a guilty look at Alice and rushed back into the kitchen.

Edward poured two coffees and sat beside Alice at the counter.

"She's great. I mean, she's doing great." He quickly corrected himself.

"I can see that." Alice tried to hide her smile as she took a sip of the hot liquid.

Edward had walked Bella upstairs to her room, granted his was only two doors down. She allowed him to enter and give Elizabeth a quick kiss on the cheek, then to hers, before leaving for his own. She had stood there holding her kissed cheek for a few moments till she was able to snap out of it and get herself into bed. Neither had slept well as they tossed and turned with conflicted thoughts of what was right and wrong for the other person.

"You like her." Alice whispered when Bella came out with a new tray, and they both watched her hand them out and apologize for the mishap.

Alice's customers were ever gracious and forgiving, leaving Bella sizable tips no matter how she messed up an order.

"It's nice of you to help her out."

"I just gave her a job."

"I have a feeling it's more than anyone else has ever given her."

"You, Edward, brought her in from the cold." Alice laughed, poking his side. "And seem very much smitten." Gleeful when his cheeks pinkened.

She twirled off the stool and erased the five on her countdown, replacing it with a four.

"Four days till Christmas!" She called out, receiving cheers from the patrons.

"I've never been ice skating before." Bella repeated for the fifth time, looking at her wobbling ankles nervously.

Edward had a hold of both her hands, Bella's knees locked but her torso leaned so far forward she resembled a pushed over L. Edward was laughing, pulling her along with him while his mother pushed a clapping Elizabeth around the ice in a small boxed seat.

"Show off!" Bella called to Alice as she passed by, twirling as she went, leaving behind twinkling laughter.

"She did take several years of ice skating." Edward laughed, lunging forward causing Bella to scream in fright.

He wrapped an arm around her waist and forced her to stand, laughing with delight over her antics.

"Stop laughing at me." She tried to act put out but was unable to wipe the smile from her face and let out a giggle much to her disappointment.

She tried to shove him away and realized it was a mistake as they both started to sway, limbs flying in all directions, till their butts hit the ice-hard.

"I think I'm ice skated out." Bella groaned.

"Yeah, I'm done." Edward agreed with a wince.

They sat together watching Alice and Esme while sipping on cocoa, a sleeping Elizabeth in Edward's lap, face pressed into his chest.

"Did you enjoy yourself?" Edward asked

"I did, actually." Bella smiled. "I was so scared when the car quit on me, wondering if Elizabeth would be better off without me; if I should give her up… and then there you were. Our angel sent to help us when we were most hopeless. Every day since has been an adventure. I even have my first job!"

"What did you do for money before?"

"I'd rather not say." Bella murmured, looking into her cup. "You'd never look at me the same way again."

"Whatever it is, you did what you had to do for Elizabeth…right?"

"I guess." Bella shrugged. "I don't even know where to start… I would steal from people." She spit out quickly.

"Steal?" Edward asked softly so as not to spook her.

"I told you I ran away from my foster home before turning eighteen. I was so close, only a week."

"Why did you run after all those years and being so close to age?"

"The foster homes I was put into were horrible. The other kids teamed up against the new ones, which was always me. I would get hit, my hair and clothes cut or stolen. If I complained, I was denied food. I put up with it until one of the boys got a hold of me. I had always managed to avoid him, never be alone with him, but he knew his chances were disappearing and he became more earnest about his efforts." She snorted with an eye roll. "I kicked him where it counted and booked it."

"Then what happened? Why didn't you just go back to your social worker?"

"I spent two nights on the streets before James found me. You have to understand, no one had ever given me the time of day before, and I was naïve and flattered with his attention. He was so sweet and caring in the beginning…he showed me how to steal wallets off tables or when a girl turned away from her purse. It was too easy and a quick way to get our hands on cash. We'd used it to buy a room for a night or two, depending on how much we were able to get a little food."

She blinked away tears, still unwilling to look at him, even with his hand rubbing soothing circles on her back.

"He didn't care who he stole from, but I never took from people with kids, and I always returned everything in the wallet except for the cash. I stuck to the well-known, rich areas. Stealing is stealing, I know, but I thought it better to take from someone it wouldn't hurt as badly. After Elizabeth, things got bad. We were okay before that, he made sure we had shelter and food, clean clothes. Then a friend of his introduced him to the drug scene."

Edward knew where this was going, he had seen it before.

"He started caring less and less about appearance, our things going unwashed. I had to use old shirts for diapers and rinse them out in a gas station sink if we weren't in a motel. He only hit me once, that was a few weeks ago, and I took off. I draw the line there, I can't risk Elizabeth being his next target."

"That's all behind you. You have the chance to move forward and keep that in your past." Edward ducked his head, "You are trying to help yourself and you're allowing us to help you."

"Like I said, you are our Angel."

"Are you guys ready to go?" Alice and Esme walked up to them, rosy-cheeked from the cold and grinning happily.

Neither of them missed Edward grabbing onto Bella's hand as they walked to the car.

"Where are we delivering this food?" Bella asked, carrying a bag that was keeping two casseroles warm. Alice had two more sacks filled with several other hot meals, Edward had multiple grocery bags carrying canned and boxed goods.

When she got home from work that night, it seemed Esme had been cooking up a storm all day. Elizabeth had been reaping the benefits with a plate full of different food that apparently satisfied her, judging by the humming each bite received. Bella and Alice were quickly put to work while Edward got away with playing with Elizabeth and cleaning up.

"The man who hit my husband's car." Alice smiled softly at a shocked Bella.

Before she could ask more questions, they stopped at door number five of a shabby looking apartment complex. Bella wasn't one to judge, but it gave even her the creeps. A man who looked to be in his late forties opened the door in stained jeans. Despite the apparent wear and tear of his clothes and the little furniture his apartment boasted, you could tell he took care of what he had.

"Alice, Edward! You and your mother are too kind." He wiped at his eyes, stepping aside so they could enter.

Bella was speechless, unable to ask the questions that burned in her, helping Edward put away the food while Alice chatted with the man.

"Who's your friend?" He asked.

"This is Bella, she is staying with Mom and Edward."

"Hello." Bella muttered, unable to meet his eyes.

They shared a meal of one of the casseroles before bidding farewell and leaving the man who was clinging to the new sweater Alice had knit him for Christmas.

"I don't understand…that man _killed_ your husband and father."

"He did." Alice nodded in agreement, her face still as peaceful as ever. "In return, he also lost his life."

"Um, pretty sure we just left him alive and well."

"Alive yes, well…that is up to perception I suppose. After the accident, the court mandated him to a rehab facility for help. He lost his job and his wife left with their two young children. He went into bankruptcy, losing his home and car- his life was gone. He came to us months later apologizing, deeply remorseful. We gave him what he didn't ask for, our forgiveness."

"We would never truly be happy harboring such ill will for someone who had hurt us. It only dragged us down wishing the worst on him when he was already living it. From that moment on, we decided to visit him, check on his wellbeing. We bring him food because we know he doesn't eat enough. He barely makes ends meet with whatever temp job he can find to pay the rent where he lives. Always forgive, because hate does nothing but breed more hate." Edward said. "No one is perfect, and every day we are given is a new day to learn and grow, to change into the person you are truly meant to be."

Bella sat back and thought about their words. Could she be as strong as they were, able to forgive someone for such a horrible tragedy? She didn't think she could. Then she thought of all her past actions and how much she wished she could apologize and be granted forgiveness from everyone she had stolen from. How does she actually know that someone didn't miss a rent payment or the cash she took was the last they had just because of where they were shopping or visiting? Would she want that person hating her forever?

This holiday season with the Cullens was giving her a whole new outlook on life, on forgiving, on being the best you that you can be. The magic everyone talked about was swirling around, and she wanted to grasp it like a child does the idea of Santa. There was the sound of twinkling bells that she heard the first night with Edward and she looked above, this time not asking if anyone else heard it.

"I know." Alice hummed.

Bella turned and looked at her quizzingly. Alice merely nodded gently with her usual coy smile. Bella smiled back and settled in her seat, allowing Edward to lean over and grab her hand, savoring the warmth the small gesture gave her.

Bella awoke the next morning with a bright smile. The next day was Christmas Eve. It felt like her very first one after years of it going by uncelebrated. Alice was giving her a paycheck for the few days she had worked so far to buy Elizabeth a present from Santa, her very first one. Edward had promised to take her shopping and out to lunch. She couldn't wait and felt almost giddy from getting some alone time with Edward. The first time his family and Elizabeth wouldn't be nearby with watchful eyes and ears, no customers demanding attention when she wanted to sit and chat the day away with Edward. She did feel guilty for leaving Elizabeth so much, but most days it was because she was trying to give her a better life. And today was special-she was going to buy her daughter Christmas presents!

Bella turned up the radio when she got into the car, which was already playing Christmas music, singing the entire way off key causing Edward to laugh until he caved into her urges and sang along with her, with a much nicer tuned voice she noted.

Edward brought her to a small shopping complex with a handful of different stores. It wasn't extravagant, and she was glad she felt comfortable instead of overwhelmed or inadequate. Her clothing was probably the least expensive you could find, and she only had a meager amount of spending money, even if it felt like a fortune to her for the simple fact that she earned it herself instead of stealing like in the past; it was really _hers_.

"I still need to pick out a gift for my mother, are you okay by yourself for a bit?"

"I thought you didn't give gifts?"

"We give each other one or two, we always agree not to, but no one wants to be the only one without something to pass out." He winked.

Bella felt overwhelmed, wondering if she would have enough to get Edward, Alice, and Esme something small after she found something for Elizabeth. Walking into the toy store, she turned down the doll aisle, once again overcome with the vast choices. She found a baby doll that came with a bottle, which looked empty when tipped and a bag of various baby items she thought Elizabeth would like and walked happily to the checkout. She found something she wanted, could afford, and would still have enough to look for the others. Going outside with her bag in hand she looked around for Edward, not seeing him to the right or left of her.

"Hello, hello, beautiful Bella."

"James!"

Turning around, the tall blonde man towered over her with menacing eyes.

"Thought you could hide." He tisked slowly, evilly. "How's my daughter?"

"She isn't here."

"I know where she is though. Didn't take you long to find a new toy, did it?" He smiled coldly. "I've watched you, I know where you're staying. A _cop_ , Bella?" Letting out a laugh. "Does he even know what you are?"

"Yes! I told him, and he doesn't care."

"Do you truly believe that?" He laughed again. "He's gonna say what he needs to hit it and walk away. I'm the only one who is going to stick around, and you repay me by leaving."

Her instinct had an apology on the tip of her tongue, but she had grown stronger during her brief stay with the Cullens, and she wouldn't cave under James.

"I found a home for Elizabeth."

"What?" She was not expecting these words, a new fear creeping inside of her, stronger and harsher than before.

"A man paid me more money than either of us could think of combined. His wife can't have kids and desperately wants one, and we have one we can't take care of." He shrugged as if they were talking about a dog.

"She's my daughter! I'm taking care of her just fine!" She turned to march off and find Edward, to tell him.

"Don't even think about it. Someone is watching the house. You say one word and all I have to do is make a call. The kid will disappear, and you will never see her again. You have tonight. I expect both of you outside tomorrow." The fingers digging into the flesh of her arm left, and he was out of sight, meshing with the crowd.

"Who was that?"

Bella gasped and twirled to see Edward was now standing beside her.

"No one."

"Didn't look like a no one." He frowned.

"Are you done shopping?"

"You're ready to leave already?"

"Yes."

Edward watched Bella walking to the car in front of him, wondering why she was hiding things from him. He glanced behind and saw the man was following. He knew exactly who it was, his co-worker had shown him James' picture the other day in the diner. He didn't want to upset Bella by informing her he was in town poking around.

He was being watched closely, unbeknownst to James, there was a cop six feet behind him. Edward felt guilty for not telling Bella. He didn't know how to tell her she was safe without angering her. He promised himself to tell her everything later. He would protect both her and Elizabeth.

Bella feigned a stomachache and asked Edward to drive her home instead of going out for lunch. He looked crestfallen but did as she asked. Once there, she went directly to her room, shutting both herself and Elizabeth in.

"Bella?" Edward knocked softly on the door.

"Yes?"

He entered with bowls of fruit salad for her and Elizabeth, setting them on the nightstand beside the bed.

"I brought you some food and good news. Your car is in the driveway."

"Really?" She turned and looked at him.

He smiled, pleased he made her happy-till he remembered what he had to tell her.

"I know you saw James today."

"I-I don't understand…"

"I know about him. He came to the garage while your car was being fixed. The mechanic didn't know you were in town and called the number he found in the glove box. James arrived the next day, and a deputy informed me a man was looking for you and Elizabeth and it would only be a matter of time until he found you. I shouldn't be telling you this, it could jeopardize the investigation, but he has agreed to hand over Elizabeth for a sum of money."

"You knew, all these days, you knew and didn't tell me? I was so scared, afraid I would lose my baby, and you still let me believe him!"

"I wanted to tell you, I could lose my job for doing so, but I'm risking it to make sure you feel safe, so that you know I will take care of you."

"I don't need you to take care of me! Get out! Get out, get out, get out!" She screamed, causing Elizabeth to cry in shock and fear over hearing her mother's raised voice.

"Okay, I'm leaving."

Edward walked backward out of the room even though he struggled not to pick up and sooth Elizabeth, to grab Bella and embrace her tightly. He needed to fix this, but he would give her the space requested and let her cool down before trying again.

Bella waited a few hours until it was silent in the house before making her move. She had packed up the belongings they came with and tiptoed down the stairs. The lights were off, and only the sound of the wind blowing outside and the clock ticking in the living room could be heard. On her way to the door, she glanced at the tree. She set Elizabeth down and grabbed a bag, shoving as many packages into it as she could. Even if they weren't expensive gifts, they were new, and she would be able to exchange them for something useful or sell them cheap on the street.

Picking Elizabeth back up, she didn't see Edward watching her as she dragged the bag behind her and out the door. Minutes later the car roared loudly to life and drove off.

"She'll be back, I know she will." Edward told himself, ignoring the sound of bells he kept hearing lately.

"He's been found and taken into custody." Jacob informed Edward, both in uniform outside of the shelter. Inside, his mother and Alice were chatting with a few of the residence.

"Thanks, Jake."

"No problem. Any word from Bella?"

"No." He frowned.

"If I see anything, I'll call you right away."

"Thanks, man. I'm going to go in and help my mother and sister."

"Tell Alice I said hi." Jacob stuttered, flushed, and then turned around almost running to his patrol car.

"Huh." Edward hadn't had a clue Jacob was interested in Alice till now.

Jasper would approve, Jacob was a good man, and he would want Alice to find someone worthy of her unselfish love.

"She'll be here." Alice smiled unfailingly when Edward returned to her side. "We still have a few gifts to distribute."

"Not enough for everyone…"

"Well, let's get some books out and read to the children."

Edward sat beside his sister with a little girl in his lap, wishing it was Elizabeth.

Bella had driven for hours. As dawn was breaking when a figure suddenly appeared in the middle of the road. She slammed on her breaks, screaming, as the car came to a stop, without a doubt hitting the person.

Breathing heavily, she opened her eyes and began crying, opening the car door and getting out. She realized when her feet hit the pavement, and there wasn't anything in the road behind her that she hadn't felt an impact.

 _Turn around._

"Who's there?" She called out, twirling around wildly.

The words whispered through the wind, her gut churning and heart begging her to follow the orders, to turn around and drive back to Edward. Elizabeth calling from inside the car was the straw that broke her, making her realize how foolish and impulsively she reacted last night. She didn't let Edward explain nor did she think through what he had told her. He didn't hide things to hurt her; he didn't know she was scared because she hadn't told him what happened either.

"Ed." Elizabeth screeched again, reaching with her arms to be let out.

"Not yet, baby." She put the car in gear, tires squealing as she turned it around and started driving in the direction from which she had come.

"Alice, we need to go." Esme smiled sadly at the people around them, the smiles given and received despite no gifts having been delivered.

"We don't need material items, the real gift is the time you give us. The care you show for the young and old." A woman had assured Esme when she felt close to tears.

"I'm sorry!"

The back doors burst open, and Bella came running in with a bouncing Elizabeth on her hip, dragging the same bag of gifts behind her as she did last night. When she saw Edward and his family standing in the middle of the room she dropped them, a solid _thunk_ echoing in the silent room as everyone stood and watched, shocked by her grand entrance.

"This isn't me." Bella waved a hand over herself and the bag of stolen gifts. "Not anymore. I'm so sorry I left like that, and I'm even sorrier I took what you were giving to other people like me. I don't want to be that Bella any longer! I want to have my first Christmas with you. I want Elizabeth to have the best Christmas ever. I want to be with you and your mom, and Alice!" Bella was still yelling, even though she was now toe-to-toe with Edward. "I'm so sor-"

Edward grabbed each side of her face and pulled her in for an unexpected, chaste kiss.

"Be quiet, you crazy woman." He laughed. "You came back."

Bella could not figure out how he could be so calm after what she had done when she felt so crazed and overheated. She knew she looked wild, she felt wild, especially after his kiss.

"Kiss me!" She laughed falling forward into Edward's chest who gladly caught her and Elizabeth in his arms, lowering his head and giving Bella a more tender kiss.

There was a round of applause, causing both Edward and Bella to blush and pull apart, Esme greedily scooping up Elizabeth.

"Let's hand out gifts." Alice smiled, picking up the bag.

"Do you forgive me?" Edward asked quietly, as he handed out packages to the long line of waiting people.

"You taught me the meaning of true forgiveness, you taught me I need to forgive myself too."

"I did?" Edward asked, shocked.

"And the meaning of Christmas, the happiness giving can bring you. To be grateful for what we have instead of wishing for what we don't."

"Merry Christmas, Bella."

He kissed her once more, feeling complete.

Bells rang, and everyone looked around, but only Alice grinned madly.

She understood.

"Thank you." She whispered. "Merry Christmas Jasper and Daddy."


End file.
